​My running goal this year is to run a total of 500 miles, which to some may seem like a lot but to most runners it is not. In fact, when I was training for ultra-marathons (technically any distance over the marathon’s 26.2 miles) I would reach these 500 miles in about 6 weeks. My goal of reaching 500 miles in 52 weeks gives me 46 more weeks to reach this goal than I had back in my crazy ultra-running training days. So, why only 500?
 
Some of the reason is I am still trying to figure out running after having two kids. I ran throughout most of my first pregnancy and maybe the constant bouncing did a number on my pelvic floor—or maybe just childbirth in general did. I was starting to run again at a decent pace for myself (which for me is 7:00 minute/mile in training runs, and racing at 6:30 per mile), and then was pregnant with my second child. With my second child, I decided I would not run so I just walked and did home workouts (because of COVID) throughout my pregnancy. After she was born and I was ready to work-out again, however, I still had the same pelvic floor issues as I noted previously. I started to work up my pace again knowing I could not just go out and run a seven-minute mile without bladder issues occurring. I started running at a ten-minute per mile pace, then a nine-minute, and then was at an eight-minute mile pace over time (about six months), and was happy with the track I was on this past fall. That was until I overdid it!
 
Right now, and when I wrote my goals, I am struggling with an old Achilles injury that has been showing up since college. It’s an overuse injury when I walk or run too much. So, my fall running with pushing the pace and increasing my mileage probably caused it. I know that I need to increase my mileage slowly, but knowing this and not just going out and pounding the pavement to get rid of nervous energy or to transfer stress from a bad day do not always equate.
 
The fact that I am solely a toe runner also puts more stress on my Achilles and has led to this insertional tendonitis (or tendinopathy). To treat this injury, I should be resting for 2-3 weeks (no walking or attempting to run) and then building these activities back up with a gradual increase in mileage and speed over time. So far, this year I have attempted to walk/run through it and have only managed a total of 11 running miles this January. My walking mileage this January, however, is currently at 240 miles (and that’s with a five-day COVID rest). This is where the problem resides, and why I had to side-step down the stairs this morning because of pain in my left heel. The pain will get better as the day goes on, but anytime I flex my foot I will feel it.
 
My body’s need for constant movement needs to be put in check. I probably need to switch to cycling rather than even walking to channel this movement over the next month. Again, knowing this and acting on it need to be more in-synch for me. I knew of this over-use injury when I wrote my goal of only 500 running miles for the year. Now, I need to follow through with action and not try to achieve 500 miles quickly because clearly if I keep trying to muscle-through-it I’m not getting anywhere near 500 running miles this year!

As a special education teacher, I have spent my career looking for points of entry—where my students currently are so that I know how to help them progress forward. To do this, I have to do a lot of observing, and really understanding the curriculum and the learning context students are asked to perform in. This goes for learning academic skills, shaping behavioral skills, and participating in social situations.
 
When I entered my career in teacher-preparation, I knew I would be teaching observational skills and observing for entry points to pre-service special education and general education teachers. I did not know, however, how much I would be performing and teaching the deconstruction of the “noticing” process related to teaching. 'Noticing' is being able to identify what a teacher does, and what a pre-service teacher sees as they observe a lesson (Mason, 2011).
 
In my ten years in higher education, I have learned that pre-service teachers need a lot of guidance in what to look for as they enter the classroom and engage in pre-practicum observational hours. They need a framework to view the classroom from, otherwise they view it as they did when they were a student (from the student rather than the teacher’s vantage point). The framework selected (whether it be Danielson’s, a Differentiation Observation Protocol, a Culturally Responsive Teaching Rubric, or any other framework) needs to be unpacked and explicitly taught to pre-service teachers. If multiple frameworks are used, to look at teaching from multiple viewpoints, then they need to be taught in relation to one another, with one being the foundation to ground other frameworks onto.
 
Without having framework and instruction on what to look for in observations, pre-service teachers give a literal play-by-play of what the teacher does in the classroom and judge these moves based on their perceptions of student compliance. This literal observation does not connect a teacher’s decisions and actions to the impact on student learning and a multi-dimensional view of student engagement (“active learning”).  Therefore, when we send pre-service teachers in the classroom with the assignment to observe, they can not see and interpret what expert teachers are doing because they are in cognitive overload (Kim & Klassen, 2018). To help students do this we need to help pre-service teachers deconstruct the literal play-by-play of the lesson taking place and help them reconstruct it with meaning through teaching them to view the lesson in analytical chunks (based on the framework selected).
 
When teacher preparation begins by teaching students how to unpack a classroom observation through looking at in through a particular framework lens it helps deconstruct all that is going on in a classroom. By looking through individual sections/aspects of a framework in isolation we are teaching how to chunk and categorize teacher actions and the classroom environment. Teacher preparation needs to deconstruct the classroom environment to “analytical chunks” that teachers can make sense of.
 
We, first need to do this in teacher preparation, by stepping outside of own teaching and drawing attention to specific instructional moves we make and why we make them. This may require us (as teacher-educators) to step-back and reanalyze all of the moves that we make in the classroom. If we do this as we are teaching, we are modeling how to take the literal play-by-play of our own classroom interactions into analytical chunking through think-aloud moments that students can see in action. This lays the foundation for students to breakdown complex classroom teaching and learning.
 
From here, we then need to move from the university classroom to calling out these moves as we help students view videos of grade and content-specific teaching environment. Again, this modeling is first done by the instructors as they call out what they see and make meaning of what they see in these classroom videos. Instructors then need to have pre-service teachers enter   guided practice with this skill—as they watch videos with the instructor and as the instructor pauses the video at pre-planned and specific times. During these pre-planned stoppage points, guided questions are asked so that students can identify what took place and then make meaning. This step helps pre-service teachers develop a discriminating eye for significant classroom interactions through the lens of the selected framework (van Es & Sherin, 2002).
 
By guiding pre-service teachers to look for specific actions and decisions the teacher makes, but doing so in a piece-meal fashion (with video stoppage points), pre-service teachers are able to take in what is happening in the classroom differently. With this guidance, and segmenting of a lesson, students are in an instructional zone rather than in cognitive overload. This is also the point where students are reconstructing their observational knowledge of the classroom—from a teaching viewpoint (rather than their old way of viewing classrooms, through the student viewpoint).  
 
In teacher-preparation, our job is to then take this one step further to solidify how pre-service teachers use noticing beyond the university walls, in actual practice. This needs to be done by having pre-service teachers independently practice this skill. This could first be done through assigned videos (selecting appropriate content and grade level teaching videos), and then through generalizing this skill into classroom observations out in the field.
 
In teacher-preparation we shouldn’t be so quick to send students out in the field without teaching what we want students to see or “notice” in a classroom. By segmenting what students should “notice” and make sense of in a classroom through this direct teaching (as described above) we start to build a foundation for them to see the classroom differently. We also help them analyze the classroom through a more complex viewpoint that focuses on active learning/engagement rather than student compliance. This pattern of scaffolding instruction is what teachers should be doing with students so it only makes sense that pre-service teachers are taught “noticing” skills and how to observe in this same manner. In teacher-preparation we need to be better at finding the entry points to pre-practicum hours through identifying where our students currently are so we know how to help them progress forward.
 
Kim, L. E., and Klassen, R. M. (2018). Teachers' cognitive processing of complex school-based
scenarios: differences across experience levels. Teach. Teach. Educ. 73, 215–226.
 
Mason, J. (2011). Noticing: Roots and branches. In M.G. Sherin, V.R. Jacobs, &
R.A.Philipp (Eds.), Mathematics teacher noticing: Seeing through teachers’ eyes (pp. 35
50). New York: Routledge.
 
van Es, E. A., & Sherin, M. G. (2002). Learning to notice: Scaffolding new teachers’
interpretations of classroom interactions. Journal of Technology and Teacher Education,
10(4), 571–595.

So, today is the first day that everyone in my household has gone to their “day” activities since December 22—yes, that’s over an entire month. We had daycare break starting on December 23rd so the girls were home because of that until the beginning of January. We then took a short family vacation for four days. Then right after that we had a domino effect of positive COVID tests. I received the first positive test on January 8th, which meant that since everyone in my family was in close contact with me, we would all be in quarantine for at least five days.  

On day five, January 13th my husband then tested positive for COVID. This then became our new “day one” of quarantine. He tested again five days after his original test, January 18th, and was still positive so the quarantine continued. It’s now January 24th and we are finally in the clear (because we all tested negative yesterday). It’s been a month!

I have been trying to rationalize why having both of my girls at home was so taxing this go round, and have come to the conclusion the cumulative effects of COVID are putting a lot more stressors on parents and individuals, themselves. Yes, since COVID began daycares closed for a while, and then when they opened back up, they opened for a shorter day (which is still the case even today—the times that daycare is open is 7:30-5:00, instead of the 6:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. schedule pre-COVID). Once daycares opened, they also had unpredictable room closures—if one of the children in the room was suspected of having COVID then the entire room shut-down for the week. This made it really hard on working families to juggle careers and childcare. This juggling, which was seen this past month, has not become easier instead it is become the “expectation” and the “norm”. It, however, also seems to have intensified.

I think it feels like it has intensified because there was a sense of relief that came when adults were fully vaccinated and then received the booster. Others probably felt another sense of relief when their children were fully vaccinated; having two kids three and under I did not have this second wave of relief. I did, however, feel like society was beginning to open up again and that made it seem like we were moving in the right direction. Then December hit and the Omnicron variant of COVID came around and it home.

Everyone in the house ended up being fine. We all reacted to the virus very differently. My husband had respiratory and congestion in his lungs. I had chills and severe feelings of dehydration with headaches (despite drinking over a gallon of water and having electrolytes) each day. My youngest, Zoey, was super tired, cranky, and had some bathroom issues. And Izzy did not show any signs of illness.

After thinking about writing this post, I read this article and the article really does capture how parents feel “broken” right now.  I know that I am a family that has the flexibility and financial stability to weather this COVID storm. I can accommodate having my children stay home for a month as Omnicron ran its course and I can adapt to the daycare closures and reduced hours, but some families can’t and/or this provides a real hardship for them. With the Families First Coronavirus Response Act ending on December 31st and this new uptick in Omnicron, what are we doing to families? With Childcare understaffed and underpaid, what are we doing to support those that take care of our young children? In New Hampshire, and in other states, there is a bipartisan bill, The Workforce behind Workforce Act, that asks for help in the recruitment, training, and retention of childcare workers. To sign on in support of this bill, please click here (link is only available until 1/26/22 though).

As a parent, I just find myself wondering into the abyss: what is next? And in what new resilient way am I going to have to respond. This constant anxiety is what is so taxing. This constant anxiety and “way of living” is what is creating this cumulative effect; it is now a chronic presence rather than something we hoped would be an acute stress for a moment in time. It is what is making us, as parents, want to go out and just scream (as the article linked above suggested) in a socially distanced but therapeutic way!

As a parent, how are you feeling the effects of COVID? How are you and your family responding? Can you resonate with the cumulative effects and chronic stress COVID is causing? How are you keeping it together (even if it is just in appearance (and only on some days)?

I could and most likely will write about the effects COVID has on teachers and schools, but not in this post. From a structural standpoint, I am going to try to write one weekly personal/parenting/family post and one work/research/teaching post. I think this will help with a work-life balance focus I am trying to achieve. I also think if I write a personal post at the beginning of the week (on Monday) then I can start my week off by clearing some thoughts and getting my brain focused on writing and producing. My “work” post will come later in the week (Thursday/Friday) as I reflect on something I learned, produced, or thought about during the week. 

I am on sabbatical this semester. This is the first time since I was 16 years old that I do not have a "job" to report to and specific tasks that must be done, so this is very new for me. Sabbatical officially started with the beginning of the spring semester on Tuesday (which was only two days ago), and the first two days I panicked about what I will produce (research projects and writing) to show my sabbatical was 'worth it' to others. I then went down a different path and started doing internet searches on others thoughts, projects, and products produced on their sabbatical so I would have a benchmark for myself. All that led to this post. 

Sabbatical, according to Webster's dictionary definition, is "a period of paid leave granted to a university teacher or other worker for study or travel, traditionally one year for every seven years worked." As I went down the rabbit hole searching for other ways to define sabbatical, however, I learned it can be "a break or change from normal routine", "a break from work to pursue interests like traveling, writing, research, volunteering, or even rest", and "a time for letting fields lay fallow in preparation for future planning." In all these definitions I noticed that there is a lot of resting, which is something I am admittedly not very good at. I always have different projects going and am in constant movement (ask my husband as he always watches my daughters and I literally running around the house for hours on end). 

So I'm now two days into sabbatical thinking maybe a period of rest isn't for me. This led down the path of reading an article addressing the reasons for taking a sabbatical and the benefits it can provide. If a sabbatical wasn't associated with my job, as an associate professor of special education, I know that I never would have asked for it. I, do, however, know that in the last year and a half I have started to feel a little burnt out--but I never let this effect my productivity or relationship with students/faculty--instead I just internalized this burn out through being stressed and consistently thinking about what more I could/should be doing but wasn't. The pandemic probably exacerbated this burn out--having two kids home with no childcare while trying to work, teaching only from home since the pandemic started (and the diminished social connection that comes with this), and the "asks" due to being efficient and effecting in teaching in online modalities and just productivity, in general, increasing. 

From the burn out side of the equation, I know I needed a sabbatical. Since I am already stressing on my sabbatical being "worth it" in the eyes of others, I really need to switch/change my thinking here so that I can come out of this sabbatical feeling the stress relief and rejuvenation that a sabbatical is suppose to provide, and feel recharged to enter the classroom with a new lens and renewed excitement. I do have projects going on that will hopefully help lead to this (those discussions I'll save for another post), but I also started this blog as a way to get my thoughts on and untangle what's been internalized and going on in my head during the last few years of approaching burn-out. My goal for this blog is balance (hopefully more than I am able to achieve in my day-to-day life), in terms of work-home life posts--maybe thinking/writing in these terms will also help provide the foundation to help me achieve this in day-to-day life going forward, as well. 
​
Have you had or thought about taking a sabbatical? Did you struggle with the same thoughts/ideas that I shared above? If you have had a sabbatical, what did you use it for (or do during it)? If you haven't had a sabbatical but are thinking about one, what would you do during it? What are some strategies you have used for work-home life balance? Please share in the comments below! ​

Going into the new year, my husband and I sit down and set our goals for the upcoming year. We have been doing this and formally writing them down since 2018. The last two years our oldest daughter, Izzy, who is now three has been doing this with us. Our youngest daughter, Zoey, who is 14 months old, sits with us and since she only has three words right now ('mama', 'dada', and 'no'), we come up with goals for her and see if she protests (which is either her shaking her head or saying 'no'). 

Our goals for the upcoming year are:
​
Johnny:
-Run and lift 2x a week
-Get weight into the 170's in a healthy manner and by eating a balanced diet
-Play hockey 1x a week by the end of the year
-Earn more money than last year
-Develop current business accounts for recruiting and pick up two more accounts
-Train a new hire and retain this new hire
-Go to a weekly meeting

Kristina (mine):
-Run 500+ miles this year and lift consistently
-Go to 6 group runs, 4 book clubs, and 2 play dates this year
-Earn more money than last year
-Develop educational consulting business so that there is more revenue flow
-Yoga 1x a week
-Complete the entire Duolingo Spanish and sign up for supplemental Spanish conversational learning
-Cook 1 meal a week with Izzy
-Complete 3+ publications

Izzy (3 year old):
-Play soccer--kick big backwards and forwards
-Try gymnastics
-Go on a vacation where a couch can be a bed
-Learn to open the microwave and fridge
-Write my name
-Go on 2 play dates

Zoey (14 months old):
-Kick a soccer ball
-Say 50+ words
-Jump on the trampoline by herself
-Get a passport
-Play by self for a 5 minute stretch

Family Goals:
-Weekly thankful submission (write one thing each week we are thankful for and keep it in a jar)
-3x a week family meal time together
-Investment goal of 20K in 401K, 20K elsewhere
-A more successful bedtime routine for both kids in under an hour
-Two 4 day family vacations
-6x date nights during the year
- Make 30k payment on house loan this year

As you can see from reading the goals we try to be comprehensive and holistic in our goal setting. The goals range from social to emotional well-being to physical to investment and career goals. Since starting this practice we have hit 80% of our goals and others we either pivoted in (they were not fulfilling and we saw more opportunity elsewhere) or we fell just shy of reaching them (but came close). 

I know that goal-setting is important in the field of education, and as a special educator goal setting is at the heart of Individualized Education Program (IEP) development. All teachers are asked to create SMART goals to move their careers and their impact on student learning forward. My husband, who works in the business sector, also knows the importance of goal-setting and moving a start-up company forward. Perhaps that is why we focus each New Year on setting goals for our family. We want our cohesive family unit to move forward together and support each other's endeavors in the process. Articulating our goals, rather than resolutions, on New Year's makes us accountable and establishes our commitment to our family, ourselves, and a forward trajectory of learning and growth. 

Are we alone in this New Year's practice? Do you set family goals or set individual goals for each member of your family together? If so, what have been some of your goals? If not, do you see value in this? Please share in the comments below.