Conflict Resolution

Week three of the HERS training series focused on different conflict styles and when some styles may work better than others. The goal in any conflict is to get interest convergence. This is achieved differently based on the problem presented, a person’s preferred conflict style, and the person’s ability to adapt to different styles. We had to take a quiz before class, and in that, I learned the ranking of my conflict styles is: compromiser, problem-solver, accommodator, avoider, and then a competitor.
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Before this year, I would have told you I avoid conflict at all costs. As I participated in this session, however, I thought more about this, and I don’t avoid all conflict at all costs—instead, I avoid conflict that I don’t think will productively move anywhere. Each decision I need to make ultimately involves some conflict, and if I avoided it altogether, I would not be able to do my job.

This HERs training coupled nicely with the Chronicle in Higher Education Conflict training on conflict that I participated in this past January. In both workshops I learned that approaches to conflict depend on if healthy conflict (productive disagreements that allow for the sharing of ideas—with the goal of moving people and organizations forward) or high conflict (where forward progress ceases to happen due to binary thinking, emotional responses, and a failure to collaborate) exists. High-conflict situations require conflict avoidance until rational, intellectual brains can share ideas. If the rational brain can’t happen in appropriate time frames and action needs to be taken, then authority and competitive conflict styles may need to be used.

As a leader, the goal is never to avoid or not address conflict but to do so strategically. This starts with being open to listening to each person’s perspective and hearing what the actual problem is. If, as a leader, I can’t discern or am unclear about the problem, I should never assume and instead explicitly ask, “What is the problem?” Defining the conflict then becomes the responsibility of the person sharing it. As people bring problems to me and I encounter problems, I should also always be asking, “Is this a problem I need to solve, or can I empower others to solve this?”

Asking these questions is important to me because my conflict preferences are compromising and problem-solving, and jumping the gun to solve and find solutions may be robbing people of developing skills to solve conflicts on their own. It may also not be empowering and helping others develop leadership skills around conflict management they will need to move forward in their careers. One of the goals I want to work on as I move into this new leadership role is to help others feel empowered. The other goal I have spoken about in a previous post is around making sure people feel appreciated. Appreciation and empowerment of faculty and staff is a step toward progressing the organization forward.